Tuesday, 29 January 2013

Tuesday Turn-On: Dance Lessons

I volunteer with the Student Union as a Campus Greeter. Essentially that means I run orientation tours and help first years get acquainted with the next four years of hell. You wouldn't believe some of the things those pour souls say to me. "I plan to finish my degree in two years." "I'm taking four advanced Chemistry labs and seminars." "I plan to study for an hour every night. Time to buckle down, after all." Oh, you pretty things.

In addition to making blissfully ignorant first years welcome, I also orient foreign exchange students. This was a separate program that you have to sign up for. A computer chooses your buddy for you. Pen-palmanship is then established, and then about ninety percent of the time both people proceeded to never meet or even chat with each other ever again.

Except for me and Taner.

When we exchanged e-mails the first time, I introduced myself with all the bullshit pleasantries everyone expects but no one appreciates. I don't know if it's a Turkish thing or just a Taner thing, but his reply was a short, clear biography of himself (raised by an uncle, sculptured by the reserves), an outline of his interests and hobbies (cricket and cooking), a summation of his personality (quiet yet sociable), and to top it all off, he attached a picture of himself.

I am embarrassed to admit this, so no one else will ever know but you and I. But I saved that picture in the same folder with all the images of shirtless Taylor Lautner and Fight Club Brad Pitt. I look at Taner's the most. So you can imagine what he looks like.

Wednesday, 23 January 2013

OmniTips: How to Live Happy

You know what? I just realized the "What I'm Working On" Thursday spot is going to be the same for another month, the rate I'm going. If you've missed out on what that was (and are not going to scroll down the inch it takes to see the post), I summarize it in this: CASSANDRE DAYNE YOU SEXY CHARACTER MURDERER YOU.

In the meantime, I thought I'd post what little wisdom I've procured in my short life. Someone somewhere might get something out of it. So I present to you: OmniTip.
Not to be confused.
I don't pretend to be Confucius, but I've certainly picked up a few pro tips here and there about how to just... function better. Not just at your job, not just your relationships, but life in general. The first and simplest tip that comes to mind is this:

OmniTip #1: Refuse to be Angry

I just shit my pants! Yay!

Tuesday, 22 January 2013

Tuesday Turn-On: Dirty Maid Service

Originally it was a joke. Friday night, 24 pack, a crowd of young and lonely engineers, and you get someone drunk dialing. Les had the phone and he had the number in mind.

Of course I was convinced it was a joke. Until he gave over my address, phone number, and nicked my wallet to also give my credit card information. It was at that point I realized I was getting fucked over. Hugh and Pat wrestled me to the ground while Les darted upstairs and completed the call. After all the fight had been drained from me, Les came downstairs and put the receiver back in its dock. "Her name is Cynthia. She'll be by tomorrow at one o'clock."


"You're welcome."

Thursday, 17 January 2013

Staged Whispers

 For the past little while I have had the honour of studying Cassandre Dayne's works. And I get paid to do it, too!
If you haven't heard of her, then you haven't been properly acquainted with the Internet. Cassandre is recipient of many a Paranormal Romance award, as well as the author of countless publications in the last year and a half alone. If you're into anything paranormal, then Ms. Dayne will take you on a thrill ride of terrifying, mesmerizing, and tantalizing proportions. Her latest creation of which I have been immersing myself in is Staged Whispers.

The story follows three housemates, occasional lovers and co-owners of Forever Green Lawn Company. Things should be perfect; they are extremely successful businessmen, they live in comfort and luxury, and once in a while, they have each other. However, there's more at play than meets the eye. Cole, a confident and capable suave seducer, is able to sense with his Empath ability that Dylan, his normally positive and caring colleague, is troubled by something sinister. It's not long before Dylan's past catches up with him and invites hell into their lives.

What I like best about Cassandre's work is that she's not afraid to get visceral--in which I mean she will tear the guts out of her characters and paint the walls with them. I've never come across erotica that takes on such dark tones and themes. If you ever find the mainstream erotic romance lacking, and want to find crime, mystery and murder, turn to Cassandre--she'll probably throw demons and monsters in the deal as a bonus.

You can find Cassandre Dayne's works at the Naughty Nights Press store, as well as All Romance eBooks, goodreads, Barnes and Noble, and the almighty Amazon. Don't forget to like her on Facebook!

Sunday, 13 January 2013

What to Expect

Hello to all! With a new year came a new desire to kick my career into high gear--and dust off this blog to give it a little TLC.

In the past I've posted excerpts of what I'm working on. That will continue, but with it will come some new features, which I'm hoping will be consistent and of high quality! From now on you will see:
  • Tuesday Turn-on: A 500-1000 word short, just to tease you. Oh, that's good too, Tuesday Tease. Shit, conundrum....
  • What I'm Working On: Every Thursday, you get to hear about what I'm writing, editing, and procrastinating on. It will be short, sweet, and may occasionally contain a peek or two. I might also have pictures!
  • Saturday Evening Dessert: Every Saturday I will do a outline of an author--this may include interviews or brief biographies, reviews, snipets of writing and/or a highlight of their books and other accomplishments. These will be writers from Naughty Nights Press, or just authors I've happened to meet while meandering the wonderful world of the Internet. Regardless, expect to see vivacious things on Saturdays.
This is my promise to you, my promise to me, and the beginning of something beautiful! To set off the new May McQueen blog, let's celebrate with an optimistic .gif!

listen to me you are flawless